I am not really sure what I am trying to achieve with this post but my head is crammed with a string of thoughts that don't seem to tie together so I figure just let it out...
1. Have you ever had that pitting feeling in your stomach that you aren't sure what the cause is? Or at least not able to pinpoint exactly what is causing it.. Right now my stomach is in knots? I know for sure it wasn't the ribs from Ribfest (which apparently is the largest rib event in North America). I can narrow down what are the probable causes but again I can't really figure it out.
2. Perfection, I think, is an illusion specifically when talking about people. I am the first to admit to myself that I am imperfect. I am flawed and at times I certainly feel broken.
3. The saying "Good guys always finish last" has been a thought that I have wrestled around in my head for a very long time. I think I am a good guy... There have been many good things that have happened in my life moreso recently that disproves this statement but at the same over the many years I get the short end of the stick, the kick in the mouth, the stab in the back, the gut reching feeling of loss, the heart break.
4. I think one of the main reasons why I started this blog was really because I was hanging on by a thread. I did not know which direction to go or what to do... And at certain times what to live for. The past two years has been particularly rough to a point that's made me question myself.
5. I fell in love. Some times I am scared because I wouldn't want to lose her that I fallen deeply for... Which is way I lay everything out there, out in the open. My Fatima...
Well that's certainly a load off... I think I'll be able to sleep now.
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