041611

As the years go by we encounter challenges and choices that either build or break us. We always remember the many accomplishments and accolades we receive with trophies, certificates... pieces of paper, wood or metal that remind us of such triumphs. Our mistakes, on the other hand, we let fade into memory and why wouldn't you. But as we all, there are bells that can never be un-rung.

Inked into my wrist, 041611 marks my most haunting memory thus far. A year ago, I sat there in the waiting room watching the second hand of the clock tick away as my girlfriend, at that time, was wheeled into the procedure room for the abortion of what would have been my child. I am not trying to justify what I had consented to but there various circumstances that contributed to this decision. Primarily, there was a complication with the implantation where my girlfriend continued to bleed due to issue with the umbilical cord. I could not allow her to take on such a risk for herself. Secondly, I am ashamed to say was more of a selfish reason. I would have loved to have a son/daughter... but just not with her. This girl who I knowingly allowed myself to be manipulated.

If I go back a year ago.. under the same circumstances, would I decide to do so again? I don't know. The one thing I know for sure is that... this has not been a moment that I have forgotten that moment and I do not intend to do so. I made sure of that with the tattoo on my wrist. All I can say is.. I am sorry for what was and what could have been...