... to continue

Everybody tells us not to dwell in the past but I think it would be a betrayal of ourselves and identity to do so. So I embrace it dearly, especially the people who made those moments priceless. Growing up was certainly an experience. I was born into a single parent family...by choice mind you (this i will touch up more on later). I was the only child but luckily I was surrounded by aunts, uncles and plenty of cousins.
In the first fifteen years of my life, I lived with my grandparents along with my mom. My grandparents were amazing. My grandmother is quite a character... she was always a 'host', catering to anyone who walked through the doors. From what my mom tells me, she was not very affectionate. I, on the other hand had a totally different experience. She definitely had plenty of hugs and kisses except on the days when I would not listen.. then she'd chase after me with a tree branch and whip me back into place. She's very creative as well. When whipping and spanking me stopped working, I had to kneel in front of the Santo Niño statue, arms extended to the sides with Bibles in hand. Depending on the severity of my infraction, I would find salt under my knees. Creative, right? Oh and she was ultra religious just like my mother. My grandmother had six children with my mom being the fourth. She raised chickens in our backyard and pigs in a little pen she had by my uncle's house. She's certainly quite a character.
Now for my grandfather. If he was around, you would know be it from his loud booming voice or HBO on the television. He was a very personable man, surrounding himself with people who he has helped without question or bounds.  He certainly enjoyed his alcohol which only amplified his voice for his speeches and stories. My grandfather, from my experience was very loving, so loving in fact that he had at least one other extramarital relationship birthing several children. He had many flaws but they were easily overshadowed by his goodness. He was stubborn, opinionated and he knew what he wanted. He was my grandfather and I miss him everyday.
As I grew up, I surrounded myself with all my family connecting to various aunts and uncles but more so with a particular aunt and uncle. They had three daughters, so I kind of fit in as the adopted son. I grew up with them and my aunt and uncle treated my like their own. I think it got to a point where my mom got jealous that she would not allow me to spend the night with them. Where was my mom in all this? Well she was very busy working and spending time with friends. I can certainly understand why she was not there all the time... but during the times when we were together, she made me feel more of a burden than anything else. As I grew up, learned to manage. Everyone who has met my mom thinks she is a wonderful person. Well, she is an amazing person but as a mother... I think her choice to have me was a little misguided, selfish and I think I will save that for another night.